Last we spoke was Wednesday, at some point in the afternoon.
I tragically made the mistake of forgetting my oranges for lunch. In fact, I was starving when I left for home. Compound that with the fact that I was in the midst of what I might call a defeatist hour (hate my job, hate my life, nothing makes me happy, not fair to the kids, not fair to the wife, eat when I'm stressed, stressed beyond belief, will never get out, why does God do this, it's all a vicious cycle, I'm going to die of a heart attack in this wretched shithole before I'm 35, etc) and I lost. Two hot dogs on the way home, along with a Diet Dr. Pepper, although I'm not really concerned about the DDP so much. I'm sure there is much worse.
After an inspired 10 minute profanity filled rant of epic proportions, punching my steering wheel, nearly causing an accident on the Road to Nowhere and some tears (at this point, I've got nothing to hide. Who cares?), I finally got home. Made a full confession vis a vis the wife about stopping for food on the way home, and I actually felt better about it. It was like a big secret I was keeping, although one look at online banking would have popped the secrecy balloon.
Grilled cheese for dinner, made by the wife, with a bunch of water and stuff. Also, my daughter kept waking up, and I finally got to bed around 2:40 in the a.m.
1/5/2012
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Needed to take the day off, for a multitude of reasons, chief among them Baby Girl's appointment at the doctor. Coffee for breakfast. Lunch was courtesty of Wawa, and having had to wait until after the appointment, with nothing in my stomach, I was hungry something fierce. Lunch was a small BLT sammich on white bread (seriously, what the fuck, it looked like a plastic food toy Nick has for his kitchen) and a roast beef'n swiss ciabatta sammich. Accompanied by something harvest sun chips. Cheddar Harvest? Garden Harvest, something like that.
Now, I realize that sounds like alot for lunch, and I'm sure it is. But as I've said a few times, I'm gradually trying to eat less and less. Just not eating anymore doesn't work, and sorry to all the Ethiopians out there as I'm sure it works for you, but I'm not in fuckin' Ethiopia, or anywhere in Asia or Africa. I'm in middle America, with 2 kids and a minivan. Clearly, the rigors of life, which are more mentally taxing then physically, call for a more moderate approach.
The thing is, I lost a good 20 pounds in the summer by doing nothing more than packing my lunch and drinking an ass load of water, along with running around like an idiot during the first two weeks of camp in the football season. I ascribe to the 21 days makes a habit theory, and it wasn't long before eating a moderate amount had shown results, and I was eating at a somewhat human level.
So it stands to reason, then, that two small sammiches for lunch, a couple liters of water and cheesesteak for dinner, while not exactly the type of shit you eat when training for a marathon, is a modicum of improvement. I don't feel too bad about that.
It's the extra slice of pizza I ordered to go while waiting for the cheesesteaks to be done. _That_ bothers me.
I am seriously considering buying some 5 hour energy so I can not be dragging ass at night and can go play with my ellyptical for a while.
God help me, I need to do something. I have a goddamn exercise machine, in my basement, paid for by my parents and given for Christmas last year, and I've gone on it maybe 5 times in a year.
God help me. God help me. God help me.
Look man, we're both in this boat; that's probably why it's sinking, heh. I got 3 workouts and 2 long walks in this week. Still working on consistently improving my eating habits, though. This might be a stupid thought, but did you ever consider not carrying your wallet on workdays? Maybe just your license and like one unsigned check, for emergencies. Then you have no choice about stopping for shit food. You know, make the bad habit impossible for yourself, like that bitter powder for kids who bite their nails or those nausea pills for alcoholics. I accomplish this by being dirt-floor broke and immediately getting the shits from most fast food. I guess it beats the hell out of wiring your jaw shut.
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